


You're My Butter Half

by kwonbagel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Mark Lee (NCT), Bad Puns, Crack, Donghyuck paints on the side, Drabble, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, House Party, I Don't Even Know, I suppose, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Meet-Cute, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, Mentioned Park Jisung (NCT), Mentioned Zhong Chen Le, Minor Character Death, Minor Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Sweet Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Why Did I Write This?, in my opinion bc normally im bad at fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 04:48:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17481476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonbagel/pseuds/kwonbagel
Summary: The five-times Mark is concerned about Donghyuck and the one-time Donghyuck is.





	You're My Butter Half

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for some bad bread, butter, and knife puns, I'm sorry in advance. But hey, unexpected fluff.

Mark realized his roommate was not okay when, on their first day of college, he found Donghyuck in the kitchen, admiring what looked like to be dozens of butter knife. “This bitch got them edges on point. Damn, and them curves,” Donghyuck said his voice as soft as butter. 

“Um, what the are doing?” Mark stood by the doorway, hands in his pocket because he didn’t know what to do with them. 

“Putting up my butter knife collection. What else do you think,” Donghyuck raised his eyebrow at him as he polished his favorite butter knife, Fat Kun. 

“A...a butter knife collection?” Mark tilted his head.   _ I must be dreaming, right? Who in their right mind….? _

“You butter believe it,” Donghyuck winked at him before sweetly smiling.

“Alright then, I’ll just be...in my room. Unpacking and stuff-” Mark scrambled to leave and hit the doorframe in the process. “Fuck, shit, right ok, um yeah. Bye, good night bro.” 

“It was knife meeting you!” Donghyuck yelled before going back to his admiring. 

  
  


~

  
  


“Hey guys, glad you could come,” Jackson Wang greeted them as he opened the door to his house. He was known to throw the best parties on campus and if you didn’t come, what the hell was socially wrong with you? Mark Tuan, who absolutely hated parties, was the only one who didn’t have to come because, coincidentally, he was Jackson’s boyfriend. 

 

(“No, I will not go to your party just to sit there and watch you talk to everyone on campus. I love you but no,” Mark kisses Jackson on the cheek before continuing to read his book. He covered the smile on his face with his sweater paw. 

“Oh my god, you’re so cute!” Jackson fawned over Mark, rubbing his cheek.

“We talked about this, personal bubble,” Mark squeaked but with a faint smile on his face. Jackson’s patience for him to get used to touching made his heart swell.) 

 

“We came because you always throw knife parties, Wang,” Donghyuck made a subtle gesture to his bag as if explaining his pun. 

“Should I even ask if you have a knife in your bag?” Mark looked at his roommate with extreme disappointment written all over his face. 

“It’s a butterknife actually. And no, you shouldn’t,” Donghyuck walked in, leaving Mark to trail after him like a lovesick puppy. How he came to like Donghyuck, he didn’t even know himself. 

They sat down together on one of the couches, drinks in hand.

(“Why are you wearing a beanie,” Donghyuck went to take it off of Mark’s head but he just pulled it down. 

“I need a haircut,” Mark avoided his eyes, looking at the floor.

“I like it at this length,” Donghyuck tilted his chin up with his hand so he’d look at him in his eyes. 

“Really?” Mark’s cheeks were dusted with red. 

“Yeah, it frames your face really well but I can still see your cute little ears,” The smile Donghyuck gave Mark blinded him and caused his heart to begin to beat out of his chest-)

 

The moment was ruined by: “HEY! PARK JISUNG STOP RIGHT THERE,  I SEE YOU BITCH!” I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY BUTTER KNIFE!” Donghyuck yelled, jumping off the couch to run and tackle Jisung. Instead, he almost stabbed Chenle in the process, who screamed like a dolphin in response. 

“Are you going to stop him?” Jaemin appeared out of nowhere and side-glanced at Mark, who was sighing into the air, worriedly. 

“Nope, I’ve given up trying.” But still, Mark walked over to the crowd radiating idiocy and took the butter knife away from Donghyuck. But as he went to put it in his pocket, it slipped from his hand and clattered on the floor. It was as if time had stopped and everybody silently watched the pair. Mark slowly looked up with wide eyes to see Donghyuck’s reaction. Donghyuck simply picked up the knife again, pettily smiled at Mark, and walked outside. 

“You should probably go after him,” Jackson advised him as he sympathetically patted him on the shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Mark gulped, before shrugging on his jacket. “Tell Mark I said hi.”

“But...you are Mark,” Jackson looked at him in confusion.

“What is wrong with the people on this campus,” Mark muttered to himself before telling Jackson he meant his boyfriend Mark. 

“Oh right, I will and good hyuck man,” Jackson walked back to his friends, laughing loud at his own pun while Mark scrunched his nose. 

When he walked out in the cold night to his car, he saw Donghyuck sitting in the driver’s seat and starting the car. Mark patted his pockets but only felt his phone. “Dammit,” Mark whispered. Donghyuck had somehow gotten his keys yet again. 

“Stop locking me out of my own car!” Mark yelled at Donghyuck, who looked extremely smug, through the car window as he banged his fists on it. 

“Then don’t drop my fucking knife next time, tata bitch,” Donghyuck hit the gas, the wheels squeaking as he drove off.

“LEE DONGHYUCK!” 

“Have fun! You’re fucking toast!” Donghyuck yelled out the window, looking back at Mark, and almost running a hamster (Wherever it came from???) over in the process. 

“Fuck, shit...and there goes my car,” Mark looked off into the distance. “Universe I want another person. Please.” 

Mark walked all the way back to their dorm. It only took twenty minutes but twenty minutes of only yourself and your inner emotions was a dangerous thing. 

When Mark got back, he saw Donghyuck in the kitchen looking down into a pot, that had smoke coming out of it. Mark didn’t yell at Donghyuck, only silently closing the door behind him, taking off his shoes, and sat on the stool next to the counter. 

“Ok, before you yell, I’m sorry I left without you, it was just a joke. A really rude joke. So I tried to make ramen for you, but I forgot to add water in the pot so it’s burnt and we also don’t have anything else to eat.” Instead of responding, Mark leaned over the counter and grabbed Donghyuck by the shirt to pull him in for a kiss. Donghyuck dropped the pot, black noodle pieces flying everywhere, as he wrapped his arms around Mark’s neck. 

“Did you just kiss me?” Donghyuck whispered, putting his hands on his face to try and cover his blush. 

“Was I not supposed to?” Mark sputtered out as he started to panic. 

“I don’t know, but could you do it again?”

  
  


~

  
  
  


“Did you know that the butter knife branched from the table knife, that was originally created by Cardinal Richelieu about 1637 because of people picking their teeth with their knife-points,” Donghyuck said suddenly as they were laying on the couch one day whilst watching a movie. 

“No, I really didn’t want to either but thanks,” Mark glanced away from the tv and looked down at Donghyuck, who was laying in his lap. 

“It’s the least I could do. You’ll thank me one day when someone is about to stab you but then you gain their respect but informing them of this important, life-saving knowledge.”

“Literally when would I ever be in that sort of situation?” Mark pulled Donghyuck and wrapped a blanket around him then his arms. 

“Trust me, I have a feeling,” Donghyuck snuggled into Mark’s arms. 

“Like when you had a feeling Renjun secretly loved being hugged and it ended with you having a black eye for a week,” Mark chuckled at his boyfriend's cute obliviousness. 

“I was just trying to spread the love, Mark.” Donghyuck indicated by pointing at a butter knife sitting on the counter.  Mark just groaned in response. 

  
  


~

  
  


Mark really doesn’t know how he found himself in these types of situations but Donghyuck and himself were bound by a rope while a knife and gun were pointed at them. The couple threatening them, Johnny and Ten were their names according to them, didn’t tell them their motives. (And Mark wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know honestly.)

“Hey, Morkie, remember that one time I told you a butter knife fun fact and that one day it might save your life?” Donghyuck pointed the question to Mark by asking it under his breath. 

“Yes, why?” Mark wearily spoke, under his breath as well.

“Maybe I could take a stab at it.”

“Donghyuck, please don’t or if we make it out of this I’m never speaking to you again,” Mark pleaded with Donghyuck.

“You’re about as intimidating as a butter _ - _ fly.” Donghyuck simply just ignored his pleads as usual and tried to gain the couple’s attention. “Hey, beanpole.” 

Johnny looked at him and scowled. “What.” 

“Did you know that the butter knife branched from the table knife, that was originally created by Cardinal Richelieu about 1637 because of people picking their teeth with their knife-points,” 

Johnny snorted obnoxiously, throwing his arms all over the place, while Ten looked at Donghyuck judgmentally. And if you think, the turn of events is already weird, well it got weirder. While Johnny was throwing his arms around, he accidently stabbed Ten, who was right next to him, with a knife, that was used threatened them with earlier. 

“Oh, fuck you!” Ten yelled at Johnny before shooting him right in the middle of the head. Mark and Donghyuck just stared at each other in shock, as blood splattered onto their faces before Donghyuck stood up from where he was sitting on the ground. 

“Here,” Donghyuck gestured at Mark to give him his tied wrist so he could saw at it with his butter knife. 

“Wait, have you been untied this whole time? Oh god, your knives actually came in handy, you’re never going to let me hear the end of this.” 

“Well, I hope you get butter soon,” Donghyuck spoke to the, now,  unconscious Ten before looking back at Mark.

“What...just happened?”

“You know, it’s unclear but we should probably just cut and run,” Donghyuck cutely laughed while intertwining his hand with Mark’s.

“Babe, this defines the worst moment to do that.” 

  
  


~

 

Mark woke up that morning to see a blurry Donghyuck looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. He was wearing Mark’s glasses and intimidating him. 

“Wassup bro good morning! Let’s get this bread! LESSGIDIT!” Donghyuck did his best imitation of his boyfriend.

Mark did it right back and said in a really high voice, “Morning good!”

“Oh my god, You’re so funny! I laugh at everything,” Donghyuck fake laughed while clapping his hands obnoxiously. 

Mark stared at him, deadpanned. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”

“Not until four.” 

“So did you finish your speech at least?” Mark asked and Donghyuck just indicated to the paper on the desk before falling onto his bed. 

It read: “Listen here you little shits. Buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers because in four short pages I am going to tell you a thing I completely made up about twelve hours ago. So sit down, shut up, put your paint brushes up your ass for all I care, and enjoy my early four am vodka-induced, self hate-fuelled writing extravaganza.” 

“Is that all there is?” Mark was greeted with silence. “Oh, he’s so screwed.” 

Donghyuck’s art event, which was a suit and ties attire, was later that day.

“You look...you look very nice. Beautiful, I mean. Damn, why can’t I speak?” Mark awkwardly rubbed his neck in embarrassment as he took in Donghyuck. 

“I love you too,” Donghyuck pressed a kiss onto the corner of Mark’s mouth and looked at Mark too. “You didn’t do that bad yourself. The pants really show off your ass.” Donghyuck smirked as he watched in amusement of when Mark’s face was covered in red.

“Come on, let’s go. Don’t want the winner to be late for his own award,” Marks awkwardly coughed out before he wrapped his arm around Donghyuck, who put his hand in Mark’s back pocket.

“LESSGIDIT!” Donghyuck screamed excitedly into Mark’s face, who can’t even help but laugh at his boyfriend.  _ How is a demon so cute? _

“And the winner this year is Lee Donghyuck with his piece ‘Beyond My Dull Edges’ . Give him a round of applause!” The head of the art department announced into the microphone. 

“¡Oh, mi querido cuchillo de mantequilla! ¡Cómo te amo tanto! Cada golpe de pintura que hice fue para ti, Fat Kun. Aprecio sus bordes. Incluso si son aburridos. Gracias, perras!” (Oh, my beloved butter knife! How I love you so much! Every stroke of paint I made was for you, Fat Kun. I appreciate your edges. Even if they are dull. Thank you, bitches!)

Now imagine Donghyuck’s speech but with Mark sighing between every other word Donghyuck spoke.  _ I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point but I still find I am. _

As soon as everyone started to clear out of the gallery, Donghyuck ran over to Mark and jumped onto him. Mark’s eyes went wide when he saw Donghyuck and he yelled, “Hyuck, no!” He rushed to grab Donghyuck’s thighs to prevent him from falling down causing his face to be covered in a dark red blush. “Since when do you know Spanish?” Mark skipped the congratulations in shock. 

“You think I took the time out of my day from polishing my butter knives or cuddling with you so I could learn Spanish?!? Ever heard of fucking Google Translate?” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, jokingly, at his boyfriend. 

“Fair enough but while it was an amazing painting and you did great, how the hell did you even win?” Mark asked, to which Donghyuck slapped his chest. 

“My love for fat Kun is just that strong. You should be jealous of our connection,” Mark just raised his eyebrow in response. “Okay, maybe everybody else in the art department has the flu or turned it in late.”

Mark attempted to stop himself from breaking out in laughter but it was all in vain.

“Are you trying to butter me up,” Donghyuck jokingly squared up to Mark and raised his fists. Mark immediately stopped laughing and face turned blank as soon as he heard the pun. 

“My sentence in hell is never going to end, is it satan. Why do I try?” Mark brooded. (Donghyuck could be heard saying, “Ya butter back off bitch” in the background.)

“Good job Hyuckie, I’m so proud of you,” Mark lightly kissed the boy’s forehead.

“You missed. Your lips were supposed to touch mine, you dingbat,” Donghyuck pouted his lips, which Mark was having a hard time not staring at. 

“You know I love you, right?” Mark asked Donghyuck with a suddenly serious expression. 

“Of course I know and I love you. Probably even more,” Donghyuck winked at him.

“I doubt that,” Mark grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the entrance. “Come on, let’s get the hecky heck out of here.” 

“Never say that again.”

As they were sitting in the restaurant's booth, Mark could only stare at his boyfriend. Both in shock and admiration. 

“Do you want a salad or fries? That’s like asking ‘Do you want to go for a jog or do freebase cocaine?” Donghyuck complained while dipping his fries into a huge pile of ketchup and black pepper. 

“You are going to die of diabetes,” Mark eyed Donghyuck, who somehow looked beautiful complaining with fries in his mouth, not so beautifully shove several chocolate eclairs in his mouth at the same time.

“No, my body is just bad at sports, that’s the problem. And I’m so hot, my chocolate abs melted from the heat.” 

“Sounds fake but okay.”

  
  
  


~

  
  


“You’re my butter half and you deserve butter than that asshole making fun of how talented you are just because he’s not,” Mark confessed as Donghyuck stared at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Say that again.”

“You’re my butter half?” Mark’s eyes shook in silent confusion.

“Oh my god, who are you and what did you do with my Mark Lee?” Donghyuck placed his hand on Mark’s forehead to check for a fever.

“Wow, this is why I don’t try,” Mark exasperated but was betrayed by his own face as a hint of a smile began to form. 

“You’re bread to me, that pun was literally stale.” 

“You have to admit it was at least a grain of funny,” Mark awkwardly smiled, tilting his head down slightly to better look at how pretty Donghyuck looked in the setting sunlight (no matter how many streaks of tears were falling down his face, it didn’t change his thought). 

“That pun went from bad to making me want to rye,” Donghyuck pulled him into a tight hug nonetheless. “Well, rye more.” He wiped the tears away with his sweater paws. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mark rolled his eyes at him but he still wrapped his arms around the glowing boy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Fat Kun is a reference to a joke xuxi made in a vlive and is a running joke in my crack fics, so don't get fucking triggered.


End file.
